Missing My Father

Over the past two days I have really missed my father. Actually, I have missed him since he passed away, December 2, 2012. As time goes on I realize there are so many things I wish I could say to him or talk to him about. I am sad he will never have the chance to meet my children, give me advice on parenting, and help me persuade my kids to be Cornhusker fans. All I want to do now is ask him what heaven is like and what it's like to be with Jesus. To be honest with you, I wish I would have had more time to have a good relationship with him.

My dad's last few years of life were the best ones that I had ever seen from him. During the years I was growing up we didn't always get along, because, quite honestly, neither one of us put in to our relationship what we should have. He was tired and wanted to watch TV; I was a kid and didn't want to be around my parents. But if there is one thing I regret it is that I didn't take advantage of the final years of his life when he was beginning to correct these things. I was hurt and I hung on to that though he wanted to apologize and make things right. I did forgive him, after all, but I couldn't "flip the switch" and just make everything that happened between us go away. Oh how I wish I could have.

I guess if I had it to do over I would have made more time for my dad over the past few year, but I don't get that chance. I have to learn to trust that he knew that I loved him, because the last time I told him was when he was unconscious in the hospital. I have to trust that when he said he loved me, loved my family, that he meant it - I know he did. And I have to have the same hope that he had - that one day when I die (or when Jesus returns) my physical body will die, but my spirit will live on and I'll see my dad again.

I miss my dad now - 68 years old is too young to die - but I have hope that one day in the future I will see him again. Until then, I want to know Jesus. I don't want my sin to get in the way of my relationship with him. I think knowing that dad is with Jesus will help me draw near to Jesus until the day I see them both.

Walking With God

I've always been intrigued by Enoch from the book of Genesis. We don't know much about him, but he is curious, nonetheless. In Genesis 5 we see Enoch lived 365 years and walked with God for 300 of those years. What changed in Enoch when he was 65 that made him start his hot pursuit of the Lord? His great great great great grandfather, Adam, was still alive at this time, since he lived to be over 900 years old. Is it possible that Enoch spoke to his great (x4) grandfather Adam and asked Adam what it was like to walk in God's presence? Was he curious as to how Adam could possibly have done something to alienate himself and all creation from God, and is it possible to pursue God so closely and fervently that he simply has to take you? I don't know that I have anymore answers to these questions than anyone else, but this story intrigues me, nonetheless.

One possible idea of where Enoch went when God took him comes from Enoch's own book - actually he had three books named Enoch 1, 2, and 3. Two of these were from the Apocrypha and one was a Rabbinic text from somewhere around the fifth century AD. At any rate, these books seem to indicate that Enoch is taken to heaven to be the guardian of celestial treasures, the chief of the archangels, and God's personal attendant. So, if any of these ideas is correct, why does God grant a man these tasks with obviously great power?

One other solution is that Enoch was the only righteous man in the world during this time and God took him before he could be corrupted. This view comes from a the writings of one of Rabbi Hillel's students.

Here is my point. We don't know, obviously, why Enoch was taken, where he went (though we are pretty certain he is with God in heaven), and how he made that happen. But I am telling you, if the only words spoken by people about me after my death/rapture to heaven are that "he walked with God" then I could be satisfied with that. If that is all the world knows of me, that is just fine and really all I care about. I want to walk with God. I want to be entrusted with great things that only he can give. I want to walk in the power and authority that comes by calling his name.

My life is a broken string of attempts at following God. I don't get it right very often, but I am not going to keep trying. I know I am secure in him, but just being secure isn't what I want; I want to thrive in my relationship with him. I want to walk with him!